Chewing Pencils

Every so often I come across a nightmare client. They have no idea what they really want, but whatever you present is wrong. Their list of changes to ‘finished’ artwork keeps growing longer, they rarely pay on time, plead ignorance when it comes to copyright even though it’s been spelt out to them and then have the gall to suggest you get art lessons if you want to make it in the industry!

With my INTJ personality, my immediate reaction is to fire of an email or phone call and point out that if the world was full of incompetent idiots like themselves, we’d end up with a planet full of morons trying to decide whether the sun should come up in the morning…

Fortunately I’ve learnt that even morons can be good customers, and it’s worth being nice to them in the hope of getting some repeat work in the future. But there are times when enough is enough.

Twice now I’ve had spectacular falling outs with good, paying clients whom I’m sure I will never work for again. Here’s what happened:

The first client commissioned a cartoon but then wasn’t sure when I finished it, wasn’t sure when it was going to be published. He assured me that it would likely be ‘next month’ and he would pay me them. I don’t work on ‘payment on publication’ contracts and reinforced this, but he simply refused to return my emails and calls. Six months later, there was still no payment and so I started sending nasty emails everyday to his boss and his secretary, informing them the legal action was underway and they would receive a breach of copyright notice in the mail soon (all bluff).

The money arrived in my account a few days later. I still haven’t heard from the guy who commissioned the work!

It’s a similar story with the second client. They were a respected US journal that for years had paid well and on time. However, there was a hiccup in the system that saw three of my ‘toons published, with no payment received at all. Given that they had been such a good client in the past, I let it ride for a couple of months, but then it got tricky. The journal was taken over by another publisher, with a change in staff and direction. The original editor headed off to establish his own, rival journal, reassuring me that all would be paid. The new publishing house said they would pay me and get reimbursed from the original gang, but needed confirmation from the other group that I was the artist blah, blah, blah.

Ten months later, there was still no payment. Again I threatened legal action and to print my story on forums and blogs around the net. Within days, BOTH parties paid me for the same work, leaving me with a ‘cartoon debt’ to the new publisher!! The new publisher is still happy to work with me, but the rival publication, well, let’s just say that I doubt he’ll ever take me out for coffee.

There are plenty of other horror stories out there, which makes it important to discuss when we make the decision to give the ‘bird’ to a client and burn the bridges for good. Here are a few thoughts from my experience:

1. When they are constantly late or refuse to pay

Cartooning is a business like any other, so we don’t deal with clients who repeatedly hold up the cash flow for months and months. People pay for their groceries when they take them from the shop. Cartoons should be paid for when a client takes them too.

2. When they abuse copyright

Some clients are notorious for taking an image you have provided and then using it in every form of media they can without seeking permission or paying a re-usage fee. Often this can be ingrained in the culture of a clients business and is difficult to change. Don’t work for them if you can avoid it!

3. When they demand more than they pay for

Cartoons attract readers and make any publication more appealing, so it is understandable that a client wants the best her money can buy. However, a cartoon is a cartoon! It is not a photo! If a client is constantly asking you to change things and you end up spending ten hours on an $80 cartoon, you’re wasting your time. If you have a client like this, get rid of them OR start charging by the hour.

4. They ask you to do things you’re not prepared to support

This is a matter of perosonal taste, but for me, if a client wanted me to start drawing images of children being abused (for example) and to make it funny, then they can get stuffed. If they wanted me to make it thought provoking then that’s different, but to make fun of such a serious issue is beyond the line I’m willing to cross. My standard reply in this scenario is, “You’ll have to find another cartoonist to do that for you.”

5. When they become crazed fans and start stalking your family

This has never happened to me, but I needed a fifth point to make the list look more meaty. Let me know if this has happened to you though!

If you’ve had any horror clients, or have any other points to add to those above, leave a comment!